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TITLE: The Hairpin - Ladies First ,

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The Hairpin - Ladies First . Friday May 25 2012 . And we're off Have a lovely weekend and we'll see you back here on Tuesday. Anything good planned between now and then Anything terrible . It's RAGTIME kids. Did you catch . 89.95 This week we're going to use our allowance for good instead of evil like we usually do. When you buy this Barbie for me you're not only making my dreams come true you're also supporting The Smithsonian. So they can publish more . even though I'm pretty sure fairies are not technically "animals." Related: having never seen Titanic I thought the Hope Diamond was the same as the "My Heart Will Go On" diamond or whatever it's called. . We teamed up with the lovely Victoria Floethe of the documentary series the . more info . and then . to make a video about women's lost desires — tattoos left uninked surgical procedures never opted for fantasies unrealized. We hope you enjoy. In high school I wanted a tongue ring and when my mom told me I couldn't get one I told her she was being ridiculous because the day I turned 18 I'd get one anyway so it just logically didn't make sense to wait. "Okay" she said. . From Milwaukee Magazine: It will not be easy Dan had written in his journal. The Gutes had told their family and close friends exactly what they planned to do and why. They had chosen a method recommended by experts. Yet their suicide was still a shock to those who knew them. . Was this really the way to die with dignity . 1. So I've pretty much known that I've liked chicks from the time I was 13 on. However because my spirituality conflicted with my sexuality I never really acted on it. I went on a few dates with chicks in my late teens got kicked out of my house for that and then stopped dating entirely. Here I am 32 years old now. I went through therapy hoping to "fix" my sexuality. It didn't work. I went through a "de-gayification" program for lack of a better phrase that I ended up quitting because I felt like scum every "class." I then did my own research on the Bible and all that stuff and found that it doesn't conflict. Woot So now I'm entering the world of dating. I have no clue how to meet chicks talk to them date them... don't even get me started on sex. How do I do this I am this freakish anomaly that really hasn't dated is a virgin yikes and is really into Jesus. Am I doomed to be celibate still the rest of my life Is there hope for me Oh sweetheart No you're not doomed to be celibate; yes there is hope for you; and this wasn't really a question you asked but yes you should definitely stop describing yourself as a freakish anomaly. Lots of folks get a late start at being gay many of them for reasons very similar to yours: they're afraid there's something wrong with them or they don't want to deal with the judgment and discrimination so they either try their damnedest to be straight or avoid dating altogether until it becomes clear that those choices are making them miserable. I promise you're far from the only person to be entering the queer dating scene for the first time post-30. Don't be so hard on yourself about it and when you do meet a lady you're into don't present your inexperience as though it's some huge embarrassing secret like uncontrollable flatulence or voting for McCain. There is nothing wrong with you but if you come off like you think there is chicks will sense it and you'll have a much harder time getting them to take their pants off. So what do you need to know about finding / picking up / getting down with ladies A healthy social life is always a good place to start. The more people you're meeting the more likely one of them will be single gay and interested. Join a book club take up yoga go to an open mic night — whatever you're interested in find a way to be around other people who are interested in that thing. If your city has a decent queer scene consider hitting up a lesbian dance night or something similar. We've talked about how it can be hard to find conversational ground beyond You're gay What a coincidence I'm gay at queer events; still it's kind of relaxing to know with 98 percent certainty that the woman you're chatting up is not a straight chick thinking Dammit I knew these Converse were a bad idea. . And here we come at last to the selection closest to my dark and twisty heart Margaret Mitchell's hideous bitch-goddess of a novel Gone With the Wind. It's awful It's wonderful It's Marlboro Reds. Apparently in a 2008 poll it clocked in at second place behind The Bible as the favorite book of the American people. If that doesn't explain your local news reports what will I'd love to be able to say as one does about C.S. Lewis "oh I didn't get the super-offensive subtext about how Muslims inadvertently worship a flaming devil-beast even though Jesus will still consider taking them to heaven so long as they don't also have normal teenage yearnings for boys and lipstick." This is not that. The things that are horribly terribly wrong with Gone With the Wind are not even given a thin patina of lion-based allegory. It's all right there to see. Mitchell just plain doesn't like black people. Or well doesn't like black people who might have their own desires and wants and needs and agendas and inner lives and historical memories and dreams and green-sprigged muslin dresses with stains you could probably cover up with a brooch but what if Melanie has sharp eyes. Every year since 1956 the Eurovision Song Contest has united an entire continent with the power of music and the beauty of poorly translated English. This years competition held in Baku Azerbaijan is no different. Each country submits a song and viewers voting by phone or text select a winner. In grand Eurovision tradition their choices include a few folk songs a few rock songs a few dance-pop songs and innumerable sappy ballads. Oh and a Romanian entry thats inexplicably in Spanish. If you tune into the finals on Saturday youll get to see a lot of amazing performances but youll miss out on the songs that have already been eliminated. For those of you who would like to see some of those eliminated entries but dont have the fortitude to comb through the archives Ive compiled a list of the five songs that should have made it to the finals but totally got robbed. ZERO sappy ballads allowed. 5. Latvia: Anmary Beautiful Song Why its amazing: Its an upbeat inspirational Eurovision song about creating an upbeat inspirational Eurovision song. The video starts with the singers friends telling her not to worry because everything about her performance will go great — and what do you know it does Except for the backup dancers at 2:23. . Douglas Adams fans take note Today is Towel Day. It's pretty much . . . We're a little late on this one but it's important to go into the holiday weekend withsome kind of uplifting new song to play on repeat the entire time without stopping. . is a Swedish duo and this is their delightfully nonsensical contribution to the summer of 2012. There's . if you need one. Bags and bags and bags; I don't care I love it. Thanks to the . for the heads up — I don't care I love it. Icona Pop also has. from 2011 although this song isn't one of them. I don't care I love it. . Us: Hey. . A lot of people I talk to think that Steve Porcaro left in 1988 and never looked back but he returned on synthesizers in 2010. Us: That's cool. We love your infographic It's really exhaustive. The Guy modestly: Thanks. You know it's not perfect not yet. Us: Yeah I mean are you open to taking notes The Guy: Um yeah I guess. Us: It's just wow SO much detail on instrumentation and timeline which is great but those of us who might not you know have a formal Toto background might like to know more about WHY people left Like we didn't know that Jeff Porcaro is dead so maybe you could use a different notation to indicate "left" versus "passed away." Or to be even clearer a third thingie for people who left and THEN passed away later. The Guy stiffly: I feel like most people who are looking at my infographic have enough of a Toto background to know that Jeff Porcaro is dead. Us: But what if you didn't really know about Toto until the last episode of Family Guy featured a strip club scene with "Africa" playing in the background . Have you ever looked in your mailbox at the exciting mix of bills pizza flyers and junk mail and thought man this sucks Or maybe found nothing for the fourth consecutive day because youve already switched all your bills to online-pay and thought why doesnt anyone care about me anymore That happens to me all the time Maybe you're not as melodramatic as I am but who doesnt genuinely enjoy getting mail Theres something about a hand-written letter or funny card with a real cancelled stamp and a real dirty usually envelope that email or Facebook messaging just cant match. Back in February the Hairpin . and Pin Pals were born What are Pin Pals Theyre pen pals from the Hairpin Did you ever as a kid write in to a pen-pal matching service from a magazine or newspaper column I did Nicole from Denver Colorado if youre reading this I really liked your sparkly horse and rainbow stickers. This is exactly like that except faster. . Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place then come down and shoot the survivors Ernest Hemingway once wrote with typical pugnacity. But are the critics sometimes right In this occasional series we'll examine the early careers of now-beloved authors to see what the critics first made of them. Every profile of Joan Didion begins the same way: some quasi-poetic observation of the slight figure she cuts out there in the world seguing to a contrast with what has often been called the "steely" quality of her prose. Most hilariously awkward of these: a 1970 Los Angeles Times profile that tries to sustain an extended metaphor of the haunted elf. So used are we to this way of talking about Didion that we assume it must always have been so. The hallmark of the icon is an aura of inevitability and indeed its hard to think of a more charmed early career than hers. She went to Vogue at 21 after winning the famed Prix de Paris a 1000 or a week in Paris essay prize that just five years earlier Jacqueline Bouvier had won. A perk of the prize was that entrants were automatically screened for their qualifications as future employees of Cond Nast. And so by 1960 Didion had worked her way onto the masthead as a features editor and within a year of that was writing short essays under her own byline. But her columns for the magazine came about more or less by happenstance and exigency.She told her friend the journalist Sara Davidson that her famed essay On Self-Respect—the second of these columns—was written impromptu thrown together in two days to fill space intended for another writer on that subject. And there you have it: even then Didion was a writer who could produce something in 48 hours that your sophomore-year roommate wouldnt quit quoting for years.. Go go at once and read or re-read . 's universally celebrated and INCREDIBLE . . If you like pairing odd books try it with a side of . by Edmund Wilson. Or of course Erich Maria Remarque's . which is as good as anyone ever says it is and resolutely unromantic like all great war novels. NO NO. Obviously you want to read it alongside . . Pat Barker's . CHRIST JUST GO READ ALL THE THINGS. . is not one of those super-butch pure battle studies no offense and

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